They Are Just Trying to be Helpful. Right?

Part of why I enjoy writing this blog is that I get to learn new things as I research topics to write about.  One of my strengths is a love of learning so this fits in perfectly for me.  What is even better for all of you is that I share the ones that I think you will find to be the most valuable.   I hope that you agree and will find at least one take away from what is shared with you today.

A lack of self-esteem gets it start in very simple ways that no one may consider a big deal.  Many times this happens to children and they keep it inside for years without realizing how big of an effect it had on their lives.  It may continue to happen as they grow up in college and in the workplace.  Here are just a few examples: Someone bullies them, a parent or relative makes a negative comment or a co-worker makes them feel stupid in a meeting.   The person saying those hurtful things may have the intention of hurting the other person.  However, in the majority of cases, I don’t think that the person speaking has any idea that they even hurt the other person.  Sometimes that person justifies what they said as “they were just trying to be helpful”, but instead it causes low self-esteem instead.

How you think about yourself has a direct correlation to the way that you behave and the actions that you take each day.  Words are important and they have power.  Be aware of what you say to others and how you say it.  Look for ways to say things in a positive way and be encouraging vs being critical.  Boost the self-esteem of another person and pay them a compliment.   How do you describe yourself?   Are the words that you use positive or negative?  If they are negative, be aware that you are thinking them and try to determine why you see yourself that way.   Look for a way to turn it around and see the positive about yourself.

This article by Lolly Daskal called: 19 Simple Ways to Boost Your Self-Esteem Quickly is one of those articles that offers a lot of suggestions to help you improve your own self-esteem.  Her premise is that you can stay stuck where you are with self-doubt or you can do something about it.   As I looked at the list, there are many items on the list that I have done myself and have suggested to my clients.  Don’t be overwhelmed by the list.  Just start with at least one thing from the list to work on this year and you will soon see changes in yourself.  One little change can start to have a big impact on how you see yourself and in turn how others see you.

Do you want to find your own voice and build your confidence?   Hiring a coach is what helped me when I was in this position.  Taking that one step is what changed my life and my career.   I can help you do the same.  Here is the link to set up time with me.


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