In yesterday’s post I shared some of my story on how coaching helped me through a tough situation and impacted my style of leadership. I know that not everyone has been lucky enough to work for someone who is a coaching leader. I have definitely worked for some leaders who were very poor at leadership in general. They had the title, but were poor examples of what a leader should be and certainly not someone that I wanted to follow. To be honest, I wasn’t the best leader at the beginning either. I tried to do the right things, but definitely made my share of mistakes. I learned over time what worked well and what didn’t. I also learned a lot about myself and what I stood for as leader by going through those situations. Working with my coach was the catalyst that helped me see how I could be a better leader through coaching my team.
In a previous post, called Are You The Leader That You Want to Be?, I wrote about the importance of knowing yourself and your values as a leader. These are the foundations you will use to make decisions when go through tough situations. Being a leader is not easy, especially for those in middle management. You are managing up, down and across all day long. It is a balancing act that requires you to focus on what is important, keep people informed and remain calm. When you are a newer manager this is a challenge, because you are in learning mode and trying to get your bearings on what you should focus on first.
I definitely saw myself and other former managers in some of the 11 Fatal Coaching Mistakes Managers Make article by Rick Conlow. Many of the the mistakes in this article are driven by a lack of confidence and letting your ego get in the way. At the beginning, I wasn’t confident in how to be a good leader, so I made mistakes. I promise you, that even if they don’t admit it, all new leaders make mistakes. The important thing is to take those lessons and learn from them. Don’t let these mistakes hold you back and become the self-limiting beliefs that you tell yourself. You get to choose your response, which means you don’t have to keep repeating those mistakes over and over. Learn from them and incorporate those learnings into the next situation that happens.
If you are still stuck and not sure how to move past these challenges, remember that it is a sign of strength to ask for help. Don’t wait and continue to struggle all by yourself. Reach out to me and let’s figure out how to move your forward.