I remember the first really difficult conversation that I had to have with someone who worked for me. They were not performing well and although we had discussions about it, things weren’t getting any better. I could feel my stomach getting more upset as the time approached for the conversation.
I knew that it was not going to be easy to say what I needed to say and it would definitely not be easy for them to hear. I had taken the place of a previous manager who liked to avoid conflict with people, so this would probably be the first real feedback conversation that this person would have had. No one wants to hear that that they are no longer the rock star that they thought they were. I was prepared that there would be anger, frustration and maybe even tears. All of the above happened including a threat to go to HR about the feedback that I had given.
I share this with you so you are prepared for what can happen. People go into a defensive place when they hear this type of feedback. You need to maintain as much calm as possible. Ensure you are sharing the facts of the situation and what needs to be different. In this case, the person was moving into a performance improvement plan situation. They would need to either turn things around quickly or they could be terminated. I had already shared everything with HR and they agreed it was the right move. (Make sure you do this step so you are covered as the manager making this decision.)
Although it is difficult to have these conversations, it is part of your role and you are doing what is right for your team and the company. Your team is seeing the lack of performance just as much as you are. Your management is watching to ensure that you are going to handle the issue. I have had some people turn things around in this situation and stay with the company while others have not. I learned a lot in these situations and having the courage to hold people accountable, but also remembering to have compassion for the person going through it.