Allison was a good student, followed in her mother’s footsteps for her career and married someone just like her father. She rarely tells her children no and buys them things that they want, but they don’t really need. Her friends are involved in lots of activities and because she doesn’t want to feel left out, she joins in with them. Allison is so busy trying to be what everyone else thinks she should be, that she doesn’t even realize that there are options to do what she wants.
It may be hard to believe that this can happen, but it is a common scenario for people-pleasers. Giving up everything to make everyone else happy. They lose who they are and hide behind all of these other people so they can fit in and avoid being different. People-pleasers have a real fear of losing relationships or making others unhappy, so they go along with things, maintain the status quo and keep it all inside.
Unfortunately, this creates resentment that continues to build inside of them until they finally let it out. It will feel like a relief to let it out, but the people around them will be surprised by the outburst and feel like it is so out of character. The people-pleaser will feel good for a short time since they have gotten things off their chest, but then the cycle begins again where they hold their feelings in.
It’s time to break this habit. What if you told people that you have been keeping things in and you aren’t going to do it anymore? The people who love and respect you wouldn’t want you to keep it in. They probably had no idea you were even doing it, because you never told them. You may not have even known that you were doing it yourself.
Just imagine how freeing it would be if you said exactly how you felt about things in the moment instead of holding them in? Think of the example that you could be setting for others by stepping out of the shadows and standing on your own. Life is too short to live the life that someone else thinks you should live. It’s time to let go of the pleasing side of you and make choices for your own life.