Focusing on avoidance this month has been very enlightening for me. It has given me the opportunity to look at the things on my own to do list that are continuing to get pushed off. I will share the three categories these things fall into for me and see if these resonate for you too.
The first category is “I don’t really want to do it, but it needs to get done.” These are things like making doctor and dentist appointments, paying bills, travel arrangements, working out, etc. Of course they are important to do, but it is possible to push them off until they are hitting their due dates or there is more urgency to complete them.
The second category is “I have to do it, but it is more complex and requires more time than I have right now.” An example would be things that I need to prepare for events that I have in the next few months. They require more thinking time and focus to get done. I also need to do more research and planning for them, so they are more complicated to do. The real reason though is that I know that other things are more of a priority right now and I still have time to get these done.
The third category is “the hard stuff.” Some examples would be things that take me out of my comfort zone or tough conversations that I may need to have. It takes a lot more motivation and intention to move ahead on some of these things for me. I know that when you face difficult things, your brain goes into a “fight or flight” reaction. Obviously, avoidance is the easier answer. This is why people spend so much time on distractions like social media or binge watching Netflix. It is called numbing yourself and I am guilty of this too. It is a way to avoid what needs to be done. Facing these things directly and fighting through them allows you to alleviate the fear, helps you grow and you see that they weren’t so hard after all. Believe me, I know that saying this and doing this are two very different things.
I can see that all of those years in corporate created a habit for me to prioritize things. Everything was date driven. However, in all of these situations above there are opportunities to prioritize differently and just get them done. It would be even better to do them in advance and be more proactive instead of reactive. Being aware of avoidance is the first step to stop yourself from numbing and procrastinating. Avoiding these tough things for too long will just prolong the inevitable and may even make things more difficult. Spend just five minutes and think about what you are avoiding in your life? How will you face them and get them off your list?