Client Question: “I put on this persona with people that I have all the answers when I really don’t. I guess I don’t want to show anyone that I have any weaknesses. It is exhausting and I would like to show up differently. How can I do that?”
You have taken the first step which is to recognize that you are masking who you are with other people. You have admitted that you don’t want to show any weaknesses. Why is that? Do you feel that they would think less of you? Political environments can bring out this need to be perfect. It can be difficult to be seen as a vulnerable leader without appearing to be weak. The thing is that no one is perfect. They are spending just as much energy as you are trying to be perfect too.
You said that you want to show up differently. What does that look like for you? How can you start that change today? You don’t have to do anything dramatic. What if you just say “Could I ask for your help on this issue?” or “What ideas does the group have to solve this issue?” This doesn’t make you any less of a leader and it actually builds more respect that you are willing to collaborate. Spend more time listening and asking questions which helps you learn. This is the information that you need to be able to make the best decisions.
Just because you are the leader does not mean you need to have all the answers. Let that expectation of yourself go right now. Imagine what it would feel like for you if you could just show up as yourself and say “I don’t know” when you really don’t have the answers? Wouldn’t it be a relief? The energy that you are expending trying to be someone else can be used to lead your team instead. You are not a weak leader because you collaborate with others and ask for help. You are actually demonstrating that you are a confident, secure leader who knows that the power of a collective set of ideas is more powerful than any one person’s ideas. Showing up in this way is the kind of authentic leadership that will make a difference for you and your team.