In yesterday’s post, I asked where you fall on the list of priorities that you have in your life? When you read that did you automatically think of a bunch of reasons in your head as to why you have to be at the bottom of the list instead of the top? Let’s explore what some of those may be and see if they are really true for you or just an old belief that should be changed:
- “I have a hard time saying no to other people.”
- Why do you think that is? Do you just want to be liked or you are afraid to cause any conflict with other people?
- Build some boundaries for yourself and only spend time on the things that really make you happy. People will respect you for respecting yourself.
- “I am so good at doing all these things for everyone else they are going to reward me for it.”
- Doing things for other people can be good as long as you are not ignoring all the things you need to do first.
- For many this starts to be a badge of honor that they wear and they are so identified with this type of role, they don’t know how to just be themselves.
- “I can see so many people helping others, that I need to do it also.”
- It may look this way if you start comparing what everyone is doing on social media, but they don’t push everything else they have to the back burner in order to help others.
- You can participate if you want to and if you don’t, then say no. This “no” allows you to say “yes” to so many other things instead.
- “I am a people pleaser and I always have been.”
- This happens when you get rewarded as a child for doing good things for others and then you are wired to keep doing it.
- Just don’t tie your self worth to revolve around other’s needs instead of your own.
- “I am the only one who can help them so I feel a responsibility to do it.”
- Is this really true or a story you tell yourself so you feel needed?
- How can you help them be able to do things for themselves or identify others that can help them instead?
The next time someone asks you to do something, listen to your gut. Is it excited about doing it or is there some resentfulness going on? This may be a clue that you are putting others in front of your own needs. Pay attention to these signs. Ask yourself if you are doing this because you want to or if it is tied to any of the above beliefs? You get to decide how you spend your time and make adjustments to focus on you as a priority.