A few weeks ago I shared a story in a blog about a previous CEO who lacked emotional intelligence (EI.) Although he wasn’t easy to work for because he lacked people management skills, he was good at selling. His low emotional intelligence was actually a strength for him in that part of his role. If he received a “no” from a potential client, he didn’t waste time worrying about it. He just figured out how to work through the…
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Back in 1998, Daniel Goleman wrote an article called What Makes a Leader? This article began a big discussion on a term that many had not heard before called Emotional Intelligence. Goleman also wrote some books on this topic. Years later, one of my mentors introduced the concept to me. The simplest way to explain it is the ability to perceive and manage your emotions and the emotions of others. One of the quotes from the article summarizes the importance of…
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Joe walked in the front door of the office. The mood went from happy to stressful in a matter of minutes. Everyone ran to their desks to avoid seeing him. Although emotional intelligence wasn’t being discussed back then, he would have measured very low on the scale. Some days he was pleasant enough, but you never knew what would set him off. He would yell at people to get what he wanted when there was really no need to do…
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Do you live in the land of “when” in your life? When I make enough money then I will take this trip. When I lose weight then I will buy those jeans. When I get a promotion then I will have buy that new car. What if you just did all those things right now instead? Let’s face it, if you wait until certain conditions are met, it may be a really long time. Our culture tends to focus…
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I attended a couple of different events last week. I met some people who have had amazing experiences throughout their lives. To be completely transparent with you, I went into comparison mode. “They have done so much more in their life than I have ever done.” I started comparing my life to theirs. I didn’t stay in that mode for long, but it definitely happened. I am working on rewiring that comparison thing that happens for me, but it…
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Are you being authentic in your life? Brene Brown said that “authenticity is a practice and you choose it every day.” I like to believe that all leaders are doing the best that they can to show up authentically. They may not even realize that they aren’t already showing up that way. What if they put a focus on being the person that they really are, instead of the person that everyone else wants them to be? This is easy…
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Can people easily tell if you are being authentic? They may not be able to tell right away, but they will be looking for signs that your words and your actions are matching consistently. Basically, they want to see if you are being honest and transparent when you talk to them. There will only be trust when they see that those things are in alignment over time. There are other ways that authenticity in a person is also measured. Do…
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Focusing on avoidance this month has been very enlightening for me. It has given me the opportunity to look at the things on my own to do list that are continuing to get pushed off. I will share the three categories these things fall into for me and see if these resonate for you too. The first category is “I don’t really want to do it, but it needs to get done.” These are things like making doctor and dentist…
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Avoidance has been showing up for many of my clients over the last few weeks. Some examples of this are struggling with conversations that need to occur with their team or a big decision about letting someone go. Obviously all of these things are hard things to face. What is always interesting is that when I ask them if avoidance is showing up anywhere else in their life, there is always a big yes! They start naming things in their…
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Trying out new things for the first time is scary and uncomfortable. I was listening to a podcast yesterday. The author talked about her fear of surfing. Her niece asked if they could take surfing lessons together. She was beyond scared and looked for any excuse that she could find to get out of actually putting the surfboard in the water. Luckily her instructor wasn’t going to let her off the hook that easily. I am guessing the instructor sees…
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