Do you avoid having the difficult conversations because you don’t want to have to deal with conflict? Does that really work? In my experience, it just makes the conflict that much bigger when it actually does happen. Holding it in just causes you to try to keep all those feelings from showing up. You can do this for awhile, but eventually those feelings are going to show up whether you want them to or not. This is why people experience stress in their lives which may show up in physical ways like ulcers or headaches.
What is the fear around conflict about anyway? It may be something that makes you uncomfortable and there are various things that could happen. Here are a few examples where one or both people could have the following occur: raise their voice, say something they regret, not fight in a fair way. say something in a negative way or push too hard. Yes these things could all happen. Go back and read that list again. Is there anything that is really that bad? Yes it may be uncomfortable, but it is also going to bring you to a better place simply for having discussed it. You will be able to have a constructive conversation to solve whatever the issue is or at a minimum better understand the other person’s point of view.
How can you approach the other person when you have a challenge between both of you? Just say to the other person: “can we have a discussion to talk this out?” You can also say “there has been a misunderstanding here and I would like to see if we could clear it up together.”
Family members may also go through these same type of situations and need to clear the air. Many times it is simply a misinterpretation of what was said or done. Try to come to these conversations believing that the person is coming from a good place and so are you. Most likely there is not malice to do something bad, but the issue is just a misunderstanding or miscommunication. Be courageous and have these tough conversations. It gets easier the more you do it and it ensures that you will have a better relationship with the other person going forward.