Why Are You Afraid to Ask for Help?

Today’s blog is by guest contributor Mona Reiser. She is a retired supply chain professional with 25 years at Kraft Foods. She has led teams in managing/directing warehouse operations, warehouse start-ups, transportation and customer service. She is an entrepreneur in her second career and one of my favorite people. You can reach her at mreiser74@gmail.com.

Here is an interesting static from a study by researchers at Cornell and Stanford: people tend to underestimate, by as much as 50%, how willing others are to help when asked!

How many times have you stopped yourself from asking for insight, clarification, “how did you do it” type questions? Questions you might have addressed to peers, supervisors, managers, directors, mentors, even higher-level management. Are you afraid that your question or questions might make you seem incompetent, amateurish, or worse yet, might taint your ‘potential’ in someone else’s view? Fear not! In my opinion it “Is better to have asked than to have always wondered or worse yet to have made the same mistake that someone else did!”

Interestingly enough, the conundrum of asking and answering is really one that comes into play for both parties.

For the asker, please keep in mind some of the following criteria:

  • Be direct and clear in the question you are asking. How you ask and the thought process that went into the ask, can differentiate you too. If the responder must wade through a complicated labyrinth to even understand the question, you have wasted that person’s time.
  • If by email, don’t bury the request towards the bottom of the email. Be direct in your subject title. Be smart about the length of the ask and the length of the email.
  • Think about skipping the email process and just call directly or even better see about meeting up face to face either inside or outside the workplace.
  • And even though it always great to go to the top of the house (if you will); perhaps asking multiple folks around you and work your way up. Sometimes, it is even better to ask folks outside your direct work area, as their perspective and views might come from yet a different definition.
  • Don’t forget to thank the person, and on the same day. No matter how long down the road you possibly use any of the “wisdom” shared, give thanks to them.
  • Most importantly pay back the favor down the road.

Something to think about: Research shows that asking for help will make you look more competent.

For the responder, there are a few items to consider here:

  • Can you answer the question for the person asking or do you feel that there might be a better player that can give a good response?
  • If it is a rookie question, take yourself back a few years and remember that you might have been in that same position. This could be the time to influence the person who is asking you a question.
  • Whether it is intentional or not, answering can be an opportunity for a mentoring moment, leadership by example or servant leadership.
  • Sometimes, the questions that are asked might provide something positive or a new opportunity within an area.

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