Andrea was excited about her promotion to be a senior manager. She would get to lead a larger team and have a lot more responsibility. She wanted to talk about what she would do differently in this new role in her coaching session. When we talked about how she wanted to show up in this role, I sensed some hesitation in her.
I asked her about it, and she said, “I feel like I am going to have to change who I am to be successful in this role. I didn’t feel this way at first or during the interview process, but now as I sit in meetings with my new peers, I can see that there is a difference.” When I asked her to share more about the difference she sees, she said, “They are much more extroverted than I am. They seem to know exactly what to do with their team and to get alignment with clients. I am an introvert and my new team is four times as big as my last team. I am not sure I can be like my peers and still be true to myself.”
I asked her to “think about how you felt when you put your name in for this role before the interview. What did you imagine you would do in this role?” She got excited again and shared what she had planned to do to make a difference for her team and improve things in this area. My next question was “what would happen if you just focused on those things and led your team without any comparison to anyone else?” She smiled and said, “I would be the leader that I know I can be and do what I think is right. I know that I have things to learn, but instead of doubting myself, I can trust myself and ask for help from my peers when I need it. I can look at this new role with the excitement that I had at the beginning of my transition.”
I asked her what her take-aways were from our session and she said, “I realized that I know what to do and I felt intimidated by my peers who had more experience at this level. I need to be kind to myself as I learn right now. It feels uncomfortable, but that’s okay. I don’t have to do things the same way that they do. I am going to focus on doing what I think is right and trust myself.”
It is very common to have feelings of doubt when you take on a new role that is bigger and more visible. Although it may seem like you have to change to fit into this new level, this is a choice that you get to make. Sometimes this is an assumption that is made and it isn’t true. You get to be the leader that you want to be without compromising who you are.