What are you avoiding? It is a powerful question to ask yourself.
When I ask this question of my clients, they will usually start with the items on their to-do list. I keep asking them what else they are avoiding until they get to the items that they don’t want to bring up, but know they need to discuss. These are the things that they don’t know how to do, deliverables that are higher exposure, conversations that they don’t want to have, and things that they are worried about even trying.
As I was recording the podcast this week on the topic of procrastination, it reminded me of the things that I either avoided or delayed working on until the last minute. It happens to all of us at one time or another. We started these habits in school when we had tests to cram for or papers to write and then we carried those habits into adulthood. We didn’t want to fail then and we don’t want to fail now.
The most common impostor trait of overachievers is avoidance. Elizabeth Gilbert, author of Big Magic, Eat, Pray, Love and many others, said, “Perfectionism stops people from completing their work, yes–but it often stops people from beginning their work which is worse. Perfectionists often decide in advance that the end product is never going to be satisfactory, so they don’t bother trying to be creative in the first place.”
People don’t start the work because they fear failure.
When you put a visibility lens on this, it means ideas that are withheld and never shared, products that are not created, influencing conversations that don’t happen, and careers that don’t go to the next level because of the fear of failure. This is such a waste of potential and creativity.
Here are three things to move from avoiding and delaying to taking action instead:
- Do one thing to move you forward. Research information, ask for help, and jot down all the possible ideas that you have to move this work forward. Pick one of those things and set a timer for 30 minutes to work on doing it.
- Create a reward system that gives you something in exchange for making some progress. I will finish this first draft of the presentation and then I can go meet my friends for drinks and dinner. It could also be rewards that don’t cost anything. You get to decide how to reward yourself, but it puts you in a place of action. Plus, you now have a draft that you can refine which will yield a much better presentation overall.
- When there are no deadlines to accomplish something, it is harder to be motivated to make progress. Create a deadline for yourself and ask someone to hold you accountable. Block time on your calendar each week to work on it and don’t give the time away to anyone else.
Delaying and avoidance will temporarily help you avoid judgment, criticism, or failure. They keep you safe, but may not help you do what you want, or at the highest quality due to the lack of time. You can accomplish what you need to do, but you need to take action and shift your habits to make it happen.