Someone asked me, what are your thoughts about boundaries?
Hmm…good question I thought. My initial reaction was that I know that they are a good thing now, but I used to have so much resistance to putting boundaries in place for myself. I didn’t think of them as bad necessarily, but I felt like others might judge me if I said no because they would be disappointed. I was a people pleaser who cared more about other people and their feelings than my own. Being liked meant so much to me that I would say yes all the time, take on too much or do things that someone else should have done.
Is that something that has happened to you too? Do you worry that you may be judged for setting boundaries? Will people feel like you are being difficult because you tell them you can’t do something that they want you to do? It is kind of fascinating when I think about it now. I worried about how someone else felt…when they wanted me to do something that I didn’t want to do… and I said no. I valued them and not myself. Crazy, right?
How often are you doing something just to make someone else happy and you are miserable?
I gained a whole new appreciation for boundaries when I interviewed Krista Resnick on The Visibility Factor Podcast, episode 34, called “Keep Your Boundaries.” She says that “Boundaries are the kindest and most helpful form of communication that you can offer to another person.” She explains how people can see boundaries as positive and it helps them put themselves first instead of putting everyone else first. If you are unsure of how to set a boundary or struggle to say no to others, this is the episode you have to listen to, so you can shift how you see boundaries and how you can create them for yourself.