Are you familiar with the term impostor syndrome and what it means?
Do you know how to recognize it in yourself or in others? The term impostor syndrome was first identified in 1978 by Dr. Pauline Clance and Dr. Suzanne Imes, whose research determined that this challenge impacts overachieving women who try to fit in and be perfect. The high achieving women attributed their success to mistakes, luck, or because someone hadn’t yet figured out that they didn’t belong where they were in the company or role. Although this initial work focused on women, it actually happens to a lot of men as well.
Impostor syndrome happened to me when I first took on a management role. I remember other leaders around me doing things that seemed to come so easily for them. I was working in the Information Technology (IT) function at that time, but I did not have an education in IT. I came from the business side and learned everything that I knew on the job. I had a strong reputation and no one was concerned that I didn’t have an IT education, but instead of being proud of myself, I saw it as a negative. Everyone thought highly of me, but I lived with self-doubt. This negative story that I carried around in my head made me question if I was in the right role for myself. I wondered if I could be successful. I did not realize how much it impacted my actions and kept me playing small.
There is a quote in an article by Vanessa van Edwards called Impostor Syndrome, Five Ways to Overcome it and Thrive, in a magazine called Science of People. She shared in this article “that no matter how successful someone is on the outside or how much external evidence there is of their skills or competence, people with imposter syndrome are convinced that they don’t deserve the success that they’ve achieved and it impacts over 70% of people in the U S at some point in their career.” Imagine that 70% of people are walking around daily, wondering whether or not they’re doing the right thing, living with doubt, and withholding all of their great ideas. Now that same thing may be happening to you, to someone who works for you or with you.
I didn’t understand that this was happening to me too. All I knew was that I didn’t want to be judged, say the wrong thing, have the spotlight on me, and have everyone look at me. I had questions about whether I knew as much as the other people in the room. So, in order to keep myself safe, I sat in the back of the room and stayed invisible. I didn’t realize it at the time, but that was my stress response to a situation I didn’t feel comfortable in. That fight or flight response was keeping me safe, but it was also what kept me hidden. I had been given so many opportunities because people saw my potential, but I held myself back. I didn’t realize how much the doubts in my head had paralyzed me and prevented me from speaking up.
Fear is powerful and holds you back.
It sends you messages of doubt to keep you out of action. It shows up in the form of the impostor syndrome types that I included in my book. I created names for them, but I’ll also give you the more general names for them that you may recognize.
- Agreeable Accommodator (people pleaser) – a person who wants to be liked so much that they will say yes to things that they don’t want to do.
- Just Can’t Say No (not maintaining boundaries) – giving your time to everyone else and valuing them more than you value yourself.
- Image Judger (comparer) – focused on everyone else, discarding your own accomplishments and making assumptions that they are better than you are.
- Diminished and Devalued (playing small) – allowing other people to devalue and diminish you and/or the work that you are doing.
- Delayer and Avoider (procrastinator) – putting off the things that you don’t want to do, because if you don’t start something then you don’t have to worry about being criticized.
- Criticism Avoider (perfectionist) – trying to do everything perfectly without making any mistakes so you don’t get criticized.
I learned once I left the company, that those fears and that inner critic in my head didn’t have to be real unless I made them real. Sometimes that inner critic says things that are not always nice. I listened to that voice, and it prevented me from showing my value to my leadership. What I had to learn was that there is a choice. You have a choice too. You can change that thought from a fear-based thought to something more positive and empowering for you.
Brene Brown, bestselling author of many books including Dare to Lead and The Gifts of Imperfection, shame and vulnerability researcher and professor says “leaders must either invest a reasonable amount of time attending to fears and feelings or squander an unreasonable amount of time, trying to manage ineffective and unproductive behavior.” Unless you deal with these fears and resolve them, they will continue to show up. Explore what those fears are about and question if you live with an old story that no longer serves you.
Do not tell yourself that you’re not good enough and please don’t let other people tell you that either. You get to decide how you feel and think about yourself. Decide who you want to be and don’t let others change your opinion of yourself. Look at your accomplishments and see all the great things that you’ve done. Be brave and trust that you have everything that you need to accomplish whatever you want in your life.
Adam Grant, a professor at the Wharton School of Business and Author of many bestselling books including Originals and Give and Take said in a blog post that “Impostor syndrome isn’t a disease. It’s a normal response to internalizing impossibly high standards. Doubting yourself doesn’t mean you’re going to fail. It usually means you’re facing a new challenge and you’re going to learn. Feeling uncertainty is a precursor to growth!”
Choose to keep moving forward even when it is uncomfortable and feels hard.
It is when you will have the biggest breakthroughs. Be the leader who shows your value and is seen for your true talent, so you can achieve the opportunities you deserve in your career and life.