I was presenting to a women’s employee resource group the other day about the impact that communication can have on an organization. Things will run smoothly when people have the right information and they can trust that what they have been given is accurate. The challenge is that not all leaders are the same. Some operate with information close to their vest and don’t want to share what they know. Others are very transparent with information to allow their teams to make decisions and get things done.
Working for someone who doesn’t share with you
It isn’t easy to operate and do your job when your boss doesn’t share key information with you. Here are some of the impacts that it can have:
- You feel like your boss doesn’t trust you because they won’t tell you any information.
- You feel like you are the only person who doesn’t have a clear picture of what is happening.
- Team members will spend their time trying to piece together information from various sources that may or may not be accurate.
- In the absence of information, people will create their own version of what they think is happening, which is often wrong. You have to try to get people back on track again and diffuse the miscommunication.
I have had clients in these positions and it isn’t easy. In one of my client’s experiences, he had a VP who wouldn’t communicate key decisions to him. My client would hear it from someone else instead of from his manager. That wasn’t a good experience for him and it made him question everything. He never knew what he could trust and what was real.
What can you do if this is a situation that you are in?
It doesn’t matter if you are in a personal or professional relationship, a foundation of trust is required. How can you build a stronger relationship that would allow you to feel trusted and for you to trust your manager? Here are a few ideas to try:
- Share the experience that you are having with your boss. Be honest, and transparent and ask for what you need. If your manager has feedback that you need to hear about why they haven’t shared things with you, then at least you know why information has been withheld.
- Find ways to demonstrate that you are trustworthy. Follow through on your commitment so they can see that your words and actions match. You can also highlight with your manager where you see disconnects between their words and actions that cause confusion for you.
- Communicate effectively and listen to others so they can voice their opinions. You get to communicate your ideas and thoughts too. Be willing to have difficult conversations, and work together to find solutions to problems.
- Take responsibility for your actions and mistakes, and be willing to make things right when you have caused an issue. Own up to the situation to show that you are trustworthy and committed to building and maintaining a positive relationship. Don’t wait or avoid the situation and hope it will go away. It won’t. Address it so you can all move forward to get things done.
This isn’t easy to do and it requires the courage to have hard conversations and to share your opinion. Be prepared that you may feel defensive about what is shared with you and the other person may feel defensive too. Be open and explore the feedback to see if any part of it could be true.
Building trust won’t happen overnight but don’t give up.
It takes time and effort, but it is worth it in the long run. When people trust you, they are more likely to support you, follow your lead, and work collaboratively with you to achieve common goals.