Client Question: “I have to deliver some difficult feedback to one of my direct reports and I am avoiding it. I don’t like conflict and this is something that they are going to have a tough time hearing.”
Delivering negative feedback is not easy to do and avoiding it doesn’t make it any easier. If you had done something wrong wouldn’t you want your manager to tell you the truth? Part of your role as a leader is being honest with the person so they know what happened and telling them as soon as you can.
They need to know that you are there for them in both the good times and when things go wrong.
Give them examples so they can understand how their behavior played a role to impact other people or the situation. Deal in facts and keep it simple. Give them a chance to respond and share their side of the story. Ask them how they could have handled it differently. You may also want to share your suggestions or relay a time when something similar may have happened to you and what you learned from it.
You will earn more respect from your team by being honest with them. Avoiding it doesn’t help them or you. They will keep doing whatever they are doing wrong and your management will start to see that you are not addressing it. Being able to have difficult conversations is what managerial courage is all about. Practice what you will say and be prepared for the questions that they may ask. Be calm and let them know that you are supporting them to get through this challenge. This helps them know that these type of situations are things that have happened to others and that they can learn from this to be even better.