I used to think that you couldn’t be vulnerable without being seen as weak. I thought that letting my guard down would allow others to judge and criticize me which would cause my credibility to be diminished. It would mean that I would have to let people know that I didn’t have all the answers and I needed help. That was definitely true, I just didn’t want to admit it to anyone or to myself.
I decided to start being more vulnerable in one-on-one discussions with my direct reports and people that I mentored. I shared stories where I failed to ask for help and the impact that it had on a specific situation. How I learned that it was a good thing to ask for help and admit that I didn’t know what to do. It didn’t result in me being seen as weak, instead it allowed me to build more trust and engagement with people. I began demonstrating more vulnerability with my entire team in meetings and it changed how they showed up in conversations and worked together.
I saw how these stories that I shared were giving people the permission to be vulnerable for themselves and their teams. In a culture that didn’t want to show weakness, it was changing the way people viewed vulnerability. My stories showed them that it was okay for them to let their guard down and leverage vulnerability as a powerful way to connect with others.
There are so many leaders who still view vulnerability as weakness and will never let their guard down. Brene Brown, author of multiple books on vulnerability, says that, “Vulnerability is not weakness, it’s our greatest measure of courage.” I didn’t view that what I was doing was courageous, but now I can see that it was by sharing my stories and setting an example for them. It helped others learn that being vulnerable as a leader is a good thing.
Are you willing to be courageous? What opportunities do you have to demonstrate more vulnerability and build connection in your company?