Julie came out of another meeting without saying a word. She was beating herself up for missing out on another opportunity to speak up in front of her management. She walked slowly back to her desk and stared at her computer. Why don’t I speak up in these meetings? I know many of the answers, but I let other people say them instead. That doesn’t make any sense and it doesn’t help me.
This was the story that Julie relayed to me when we met over a Zoom call. She sounded so frustrated. She kept looking down in disappointment and was close to tears as she talked about her inability to move past this challenge. Julie had so much going for her, but she couldn’t see it. She had the belief that other people were smarter and that she didn’t bring enough value. So she said nothing in the meetings.
I said to her, “What do you think you will get if you speak up in meetings?” She responded, “I think it will let my management see that I do know the information and can share it so they can make good decisions.” I replied, “What else will it give you?” Julie said, “I know it will help me gain more credibility to get promoted in the future if I can show them the value that I can bring.”
My response to her was, “If you get promoted, what would that give you?” She hesitated for a few minutes before she said, “I know deep down inside that I can do more in the organization and make a bigger impact. I can’t seem to get past the fear of being judged.” I said to her, “Is it true that you would be judged?” She thought about it and said, “I think it is the fear of being judged, not that I would actually be judged.” I said, “Okay so it is a fear that you have. How about if we focus on what you want to accomplish for a moment?” Her face lit up as she began to share what she would like to do. I said, “Can you see how everything changed when you began to talk about what you want to do? Can you capture that feeling when you are in a meeting? Speaking up and sharing in a visible way are necessary to help you create the big impact that you want to make! People will support you when they see how excited you are about it!”
Helping Julie focus on the “real” outcome that she wants to achieve is what gives her the motivation to move past the fear and speak up. It takes the focus off of her and puts it on the impact that she wants to make instead. If someone wants to do more but has fear, it helps them to focus on something bigger than themselves and makes it easier for them to speak up. Imagine what they could achieve with the power of visibility? If you or one of your team members needs help with creating visibility, just let me know!