Is there such a thing as being too nice?
When you read that question, was your initial response a yes or a no? My parents taught me to treat others with kindness and encouraged my sister and me to avoid conflict with our friends. As adults in the workplace, it isn’t always possible to avoid conflict. There may be issues between departments, team members who don’t get along or managing the work of outside vendors that can lead to conflict. Dealing with those situations doesn’t mean that you can’t be nice, but you still have to be direct about the work to be done and communicate what needs to be said.
What does it look like when a leader is too nice? They want to be liked so much that they will avoid confrontation, sugarcoat feedback instead of sharing the truth, do what is asked instead of pushing back when they disagree, and have sidebar conversations instead of addressing the issues in the meeting. Taking only the actions that ensure that they are liked means that they won’t do the hard things that need to happen. This impacts their trust factor, makes it hard for people to work for them and at some point, it will hinder their career growth.
Is there someone on your team who is demonstrating these types of behaviors?
They probably don’t know that they are doing it or they would have already done something about it. Set the example for them and have a tough conversation so they can correct their behavior. Help them see how this overuse of niceness is impacting their career and that you are there to support them as they take action to show up differently. This is a habit that they have had for many years, so understand that the shifts they need to make will take some time, but they can do it. Being nice is a good thing, but using it as a shield to hide behind won’t help you demonstrate the capabilities that you have and give you the career success that you want.