It’s okay to ask for help.
This wasn’t something that I believed for many years. I saw it as a negative thing. I thought you had to do it all yourself and if you couldn’t then you were a failure. I know that this isn’t true now, but back when I was still learning about being a leader, it felt true. What I didn’t realize is that it is actually a sign of strength to ask for help, not a weakness.
One of my directors helped me see that asking for help was a good thing and that it was something that he did when he had challenges. I felt like I had received this amazing permission slip when he shared that with me! If my director could ask for help, why couldn’t I? I could ask for help when I needed it and it wouldn’t be held against me.
This is a lesson that has stuck with me all these years later. I now help clients see that it is something that they can do too. Think about situations you may face like, escalating an issue, identifying a problem and possible solutions, and working through team challenges that you have never faced before. These are all examples of opportunities to ask for help. It is a visible way to set an example for your team and to show your leadership that you have the ability to do what is needed to get results.
No one can do everything on their own.
Even though I knew this to be true, in my head I still tried to do it all. If you have a challenge that you are facing and you are trying to hide it from others, ask yourself why. Are you fearing judgment, or that others will think you aren’t smart enough or that you “should” be able to do it? Know that those are all stories that you are telling yourself to stay safe.
Here is a suggestion to try that can help you move forward. Give yourself a solid 30 minutes to work through the issue and if you can’t figure out an answer, then it’s time to find a way to get help. You may think a half hour isn’t long enough, but sometimes it helps to limit how long you will give yourself instead of dragging it out for hours or days.
Isn’t it better to ask for help than to struggle silently with what needs to get done?
Stop hiding to stay safe and recognize that you can choose to ask for help which creates good visibility for you. Here is some example language to use when asking someone for help, “hey I have been struggling with this issue, would you have a few minutes to help me see what I may be missing?” All you need to do is ask, get back on track again and help people see that you are a leader who is confident and strong.