When you put everyone else’s needs before your own, there may not be much time or energy left for you. You may start out doing this with the best of intentions because you care about other people and want to help them. However, at some point this want becomes a need for you. Instead of doing it because you want to, it becomes the way for you to belong to a group and play a role that causes you to…
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When someone asks you to do something or go somewhere, do you automatically say yes when you want to say no? Do you put everyone else’s needs in front of your own? These are some of the actions of a textbook people pleaser. Pleasing people isn’t a bad thing, until it becomes automatic, starts to create resentment for you and you realize that you are doing it to avoid conflict. Then it becomes a problem. Julia Roberts who starred in…
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If you are in an office environment and especially if you have a team, you are getting interrupted about every 8 minutes. It makes it hard to get a whole lot done in that time. When I was in the office, I used to go find a place that I could hide out and get things done when I needed to focus. There are always distractions, but we need to find a way to block those out. As some of you…
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As some of you may know I am a former Information Technology person. The thing that is great about IT people is that we are problem solvers at heart. As soon as we hear about an issue, we immediately jump into solution mode. We just can’t help ourselves! The challenge is that solving problems for everyone else may not always be the right answer. For example, two people on your team are disagreeing about some issue or your kids are…
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Multiple clients have been struggling with setting boundaries for themselves over the past few weeks. It is something that I have struggled with over the years as well. For example, how many times do you go to an event simply because someone asked you to and you feel bad so you don’t want to say no? We feel bad if we say no, but then we are resentful if we end up going when we didn’t want to. This quote…
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Setting boundaries for your time is one thing, but being able to maintain them is another. Keeping your boundaries can be a challenge when there are so many things that need your attention. There always seem to be more things to do than you have time for. Maintaining boundaries is hard for those who have trouble saying no to other people. This is especially true because you don’t want to disappoint those who need your help or let them down. Even though…
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There are many situations where it takes courage to stand up for yourself. Starting your own business is a great example of how you need to be able to face your critics. It takes a lot of time to get things going and initially you are a team of only one. There are a lot of decisions to make that set the foundation for how your business will run. You will have many people who see this is as a risky venture…
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I posted a quote this week on social media that said, “If you are always trying to be normal, you will never know how amazing you can be.” by Maya Angelou. In terms of self acceptance, this quote says it all. How can you accept yourself when you are focused on comparing yourself to others? Think about what other people may be showing you. They are projecting how they want to be seen, which may not be the reality. Basically, you…
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When you have worked somewhere for a long time, it becomes difficult to leave. You are tied to the people that you work with, you know how everything works, it is comfortable and it has become a part of how others see you and how you identify yourself. Your job has become a part of who you are and it may feel like you are only known as the person who works at that company or has a certain role. Leaving all of…
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Do you choose to see the positive in life or can you only see the negative? How did you answer the question? Now how would you characterize the people around you…positive or negative? If you are surrounded by negative people, then it can be much more challenging to try to stay positive. You have a choice of how you want to see the world and who you want to hang out with every day. These choices are important, because they…
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